Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Gay Fishermen

On my way home I found myself stuck behind a white van.
It was one of those ones that's so in need of a wash that someone's written something amusing in it.
Except it wasn't anything amusing. It wasn't about wishing any female relation or acquaintance was as dirty as said vehicle but rather it had just two words:

Yeah. What?! Why would you write that? It was an EDF van, so it's unlikely that as well as fixing people's meters the driver and his faux fisherman's friend liked to don leather waders and catch a cod.

Why would you write that on someone's van?
I came home and googled it. A bit dangerous I know, but there's not many gay fishermen it turns out (God, I hope my wife doesn't check out internet history)... One site for Gay Fly Fishermen was set up last year and they were hoping to arrange an outing (so to speak) for a group of men but it looks like perhaps it didn't go down too well (so to spea.. yeah, sorry). I felt quite sad for that Gay Fisherman, he'd never even posted on his blog. He had a lovely logo and everything. Type Gay Fisermen into Amazon and there was nothing although in 1971 a band called the Liverpool Fishermen did release an album called Swallow The Anchor - on which subject my mouth remains closed. In every way. Also (what?! don't judge me) I did find an American couple called Mr & Mrs Gay who do indeed like to indulge in sea fishing but it seems unlikely they decided to scrawl on a van on the A120.

So, I'm still none the wiser. But it did make me realise that being a gay fisherman could probably be a lonely existence and maybe one had tried to advertise on the back of this van but that it pulled away before he/she could finish their plug. It reminded me of a song by Corky & The Juice Pigs called The Only Gay Eskimo, who let's face it do fish. So, here's someone's interpretation of that video. Trust me it's safer than the other youtube effort claiming to be a gay fisherman: that really didn't look like fish he was reeling in and frankly he's more likely to catch something else with that kind of behaviour. Anyway...

Thursday, 12 February 2009

La ragazza è nella scatola

I've got my Italian lesson at the local college in an hour.

It's my second term and I'm struggling. I decided to learn because when we got married in Tuscany last year: it was beautiful but I didn't even know how to say 'Yes, I do' in Italian. So, I've decided for our next trip there I'd like to be able to chat to the locals, rather than be rude. And maybe get an extra towel.. rather than use the bed sheet. There's another story. 

I was really good at languages at school but it just doesn't seem to go in nowadays. After 12 weeks there are just two phrases I confidently know from my Italian language night classes:

1) Io non sono Italiano
(I am not Italian.. just in case you needed further confirmation other than the fact I can't speak Italian)

2) La ragazza è nella scattola
(The girl is in the box)

I'm a bit concerned about that last one. What kind of people put this course together? Still, if I one day happen to be in Rome and find a girl trapped in a box, they will be vindicated. As I explain to the police that, yes, she's in there, but no, I'm not Italian - suggesting I would have thought that the UK consulate and a good lawyer wouldn't go a miss, my £10 a week will seem worth while.
Steve is available as a tranlastor at a reasonable fee should you find yourself in Napoli with a young female within a cardboard container